I don’t like to generalize too much, but I’d say the overall public perception of these four schools is:

School A: an inner city school with a focus on arts and trades, not regarded as an ideal school (my own son went there and we LOVE it – but some of our friends questioned his decision)
School B: a very academically-oriented school known as one of the best in the province; as well as academics, it has a focus on arts and athletics (our daughter went here briefly, then she was home-schooled, and then she went to music college)
School C: an “edge of the city” school with a decent academic reputation as well as being recognized for athletics and environmental sustainability
School D: a school near the city’s university with a well-rounded program and lots of athletics

I’ve been able to compare the values that leap out in these schools and again, without generalizing too much, there is a noticeable difference in several things but one in particular is the ratio of how much the kids take charge of the final ceremonies. In some schools the teachers do it all but in others it’s almost completely up to the students. To me it seems that the two schools where students more or less completely planned and ran the ceremony were the schools “best-loved” by the kids I know. And one of the schools where the grad is much more teacher-organized happens to be a school that two of my kids didn’t like, in fact they transferred away from it, in spite of its great reputation. One is just making that choice and I suspect he’ll do well once he makes the change. The other was several years ago and he did do just fine – now happily at college. Obviously this is highly anecdotal, but I know which ceremonies I have enjoyed the most (never the teacher-planned ones).

I suspect it’s about the notion of perfection. Some schools have a philosophy that allows for more experimentation and more mistakes and they’re even willing to present themselves that way to the huge auditorium of parents and grandparents at the final ceremony. I think these are hidden values that are passed down. And of course here, in this city, the school you attend isn’t just based on where you live — it’s possible to choose a school outside of your catchment area. So a school with a specific reputation will attract different students. The perfectionist kids may well end up at the perfectionist school and they may be quite happy to not take the “risk” of a student-run grad. As always, education is a complex topic and there is no one “best” way.

But we do move through the generations passing along a set of values about learning, competitiveness versus collaboration and even the role of compassion. My bias is towards giving kids the opportunity to make mistakes even if they don’t present something perfect to the world. It’s how innovation occurs. At the same time, I want zero slip-ups when I’m at the dentist, so perhaps I’m not giving a completely consistent point of view here….. but I do hope my dentist has a hobby where he can make a mess and enjoy it! It may be about balance.

And, in a different but related train of thought, it is amazing how a human mind can protect itself by re-framing events. I was astonished to receive the gift of these dolls. They mean something that the giver may truly not understand at a conscious level and yet, from her, they are the most perfect gift possible (Vicky you know what I mean here! I can’t wait to tell you everything!)

Deryk and our son Samuel have created something very special for the nearby town of Sidney. It was installed yesterday and we went out last night to see it. It’s 23 ft tall and it was stunning under the full moon.

These are just snapshots.

We’ll go back today to get some really good photographs.

Update: We went back and here’s what Deryk posted and wrote:
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=2014

Here is an example of what she has written for one of the pages, including images of her art. I can’t think of a better metaphor for life.

When working with hot glass,the right amount of flow is needed. Too much, and you can lose control of the piece – its shape becomes lost. Not enough, and the work becomes stuck, the glass unformed. Glass needs heat to
 melt and flow, but not too much all at once, and the right balance 
must be found.

The same is true for life.

When things are flowing right, life can be wonderful. Too much, and it can be out of control. And with not enough, once can become immobilized. The
 Goddess of Flow finds the balance that allows emotion, sensation,
and thought, all to flow perfectly, without creating over- or
underwhelm. 
It is like a song played at just the right tempo.

It is a connection with nature and being perfectly in tune with the 
universe. It is something we all have the power within ourselves to 
achieve – the Goddess of Flow helps to show us the way.

http://www.twoglassyladies.ca/

Yesterday, April 5, marked the 20th anniversary of the shelling of that city and Vedran returned to play his cello again.

Cellist of Sarajevo, Vedran Smailović from Marcel van der Steen on Vimeo.

Here’s a news article about the event.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/cellist-sarajevo-plays-again-mark-anniversary-shelling-city-172552540–spt.html

I have always viewed Vedran’s actions during the siege as an example of the power of the arts to give people hope. It’s about picking up the pieces and rebuilding and it’s a perfect message to think of once again at Easter. Springtime is a new beginning.

(Above is a video of me reading my book about Vedran Smailovic: “Echoes from the Square” with artwork by my husband, Deryk Houston)

Some of my friends will know what I am referring to here. If you don’t, you will have to guess about the details, because there are other people’s secrets that I don’t want to disclose. Things I’ve discovered only recently.

Much of it “gelled” for me in month of March, which has been an amazing time for me. I can truly say that it has been a totally unexpected lesson about love and the mysteries of the human mind. And it has brought me to a significant revision of what I thought I knew about certain aspects of my own “story”. Almost too late, but not quite

There’s a reason I wasn’t able to learn this earlier, but it’s not the reason I had imagined. It involves more fear and sadness than the arrogance I had believed was at its core; it’s a kinder, gentler and more vulnerable story and it resonates with me in a way I didn’t expect. It’s really about a person trying to get by, doing the best she could with what she had.

How deep can a secret be? How much can one brain hide from itself? Why would someone need to hide something so completely? No one on the outside can know for sure but I now look at a particular person and realize that I might not have been that different had my circumstances been the same as hers.

Marshall Rosenberg says:
“Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we’ll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.”

I brought white tulips as a white flag. Later I found myself bringing books, art supplies, candy, pictures and daffodils.

The Birth of Venus

The next piece of art I created myself (a glass on glass mosaic) was based on Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” although I didn’t see the connection until after the work was complete. The morning after I finished the piece, I looked at it with fresh eyes and realized what I’d done. Not a copy but definitely a tribute. I gave its its rightful name and acknowledged that although the original work that inspired me is still my favourite historical painting, it doesn’t apply to me any more and never had. It was never true that I’d been blown in from the sea, fully-formed.

Who knew?

I look in the face of dementia and imagine my own mind slipping away — what will I remember when that time comes? what will I forget? What skills will I draw on to make everything appear socially normal when the foundation is actually crumbling? I doubt I’d have the charm and grace to carry it, but who knows. Perhaps it *is* there in my DNA. Is there any degree of choice in this?

As for right now, I hope I have found (and can maintain) the right balance as I proceed on this adventure.

I’m so grateful to have time to explore places like this:
Click to view slideshow.

Links describing the garden are here:

http://blog.conservancy.bc.ca/properties/vancouver-island-region/abkhazi-garden/

http://www.recreatingeden.com/index.php?pid=8&season=02&episode=22

Muskwa Kechika - a painting by Deryk Houston

The exhibition is full of colour and strong images, with paintings of local scenes, northern wilderness and memories from Deryk’s childhood. For me, these paintings speak of the joy of daily life. The beauty depicted in these works is why we strive for a world of peace — to allow the fields to continue to sustain us and the wilderness to continue to flourish.

Deryk is blogging with stories related to some of the paintings in the show. Here is a link to his first posting in that series, about his trip to the Muskwa Kechika (depicted in the painting above) in the BC’s North East: http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1814

As of March 16, 2012, there are eight more stories to share:
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1886 Crows among the Seeds
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1875 Cider Apples
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1867 Next Generation
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1865 Beautiful Soft Folds
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1857 Gonzales Bay
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1847 Springtime Renewal
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1840 Shadows and Light
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1836 Blackbirds and Prayers

And a new story, guest blogged by me on March 25:
http://www.derykhouston.com/?p=1953 Blackbirds Rise Across the Fields

And here’s a little video I made showing Deryk painting at a nearby beach called Point no Point.

It’s about Trevor Greene, a Canadian who, in Afghanistan in 2006 , was severely wounded by an axe to his skull wielded by a sixteen year old boy during an otherwise peaceful meeting of Canadian peacekeepers and Pashtun village elders. Greene had taken his helmet off as a gesture of respect.

Details of this horrifying incidence and its aftermath are widely available and have made medical history. Here are just a handful of the many links:
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1025852–how-capt-trevor-greene-came-back-from-an-afghan-axe-to-the-head
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH76v_JPgtY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw1I2aAHOsE
http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/WFive/20101201/w5-trevor-greene-soldier-amazing-recovery-102101

http://www.ctvvancouverisland.ca/2012/03/wounded-soldier-defies-odds/

But it’s Trevor Greene’s amazing compassion that I want to share here.

Greene, after he emerged from a lengthy coma, was able to forgive his young attacker (who was shot and killed at the time of the attack) and Greene expresses regret and apologies for the fact that the young man lost his life. This beautiful compassion is strikingly similar to what Marshall Rosenberg advocates as part of his philosophy of nonviolent communication (NVC).

One interview with Rosenberg http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/meet_marshall_rosenberg/mbr-video.htm is especially interesting to me because it led me to make the connection between the ideas of NVC and the actions of Trevor Greene and also addresses the protective use of force.

Rosenberg’s work focuses on meeting the needs of individuals. He says: “Conflicts, even of long standing duration, can be resolved if we can just keep the flow of communication going in which people come out of their heads and stop criticizing and analyzing each other, and instead get in touch with their needs, and hear the needs of others, and realize the interdependence that we all have in relation to each other. We can’t win at somebody else’s expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person’s needs are fulfilled as well as our own.”

When Trevor Greene spoke of his attacker, he acknowledged needs in the village and needs related to the boy and his family. Later Greene said “you can’t hate and heal at the same time.” I believe it’s a message the world needs to hear.

And here’s some classic Rosenberg that addresses healing at a different level – the intimate family level.